Pink Phoenix Rising – Christian Yoga Journal

By Daybreak Hopkins, Inspiritus Yoga

“And simply because the Phoenix rose from the ashes, she too will rise.
Coming back from the flames, clothed in nothing however her power, extra stunning than ever earlier than.”
~Shannen Heartzs

D-Day (Prognosis Day)
It was Valentine’s Day – February 14, 2018. I bear in mind it prefer it was yesterday. I used to be in
the method of getting ready for a yoga trainer coaching immersion that may start later
that day and I obtained “the decision” – the decision that NOBODY ever needs to obtain EVER.
I had gone in for a routine mammogram and obtained the decision that they wanted extra
imaging as quickly as potential. So, they introduced me in for a 3D mammogram the place they
found “microcalcifications” scattered all through my left breast. In an effort to
decide if it was malignant, they despatched me for a stereotactic needle biopsy the place they
extracted samples within the space of concern. It was a tough and painful process, however a
crucial one. I prayed and breathed by it, and requested God for the absolute best
end result.

My household doctor known as me the subsequent day and delivered the information that I had DCIS –
Ductal Carcinoma in Situ. She inspired me that it was one of the best sort of breast most cancers
to get and that they discovered it early. She supplied me the names of some breast surgeons
to name and warranted me that I might be fantastic. I bear in mind nothing after that. In truth, her
voice turned like the phone voice in Charlie Brown. A muffled “Blah blah blah” was
all I heard. The partitions closed in as I struggled to understand what I used to be listening to. I
pulled the automotive over and prayed, breathless from the information.

To say that I used to be in shock was an understatement. My mind went down the “what if”
rabbit gap in each course. You see, my husband Bob misplaced his first spouse Sandy to
ovarian most cancers in 2013, leaving him and their two daughters behind. As I prayed, I used to be
reminded that BOTH of my grandmothers had overcome breast most cancers and had lived to be 99 and 101 years previous. I resolved at that second that my story could be no totally different.

However, I needed to inform Bob. I used to be not afraid of the most cancers. I used to be terrified about how he and the ladies had been going to take the information. I used to be associates with Bob and Sandy on the time that she obtained sick, and I remembered all too nicely how tough that journey had been for him and the ladies, who had been now my husband and stepdaughters.

Once I obtained residence, I instructed Bob the information with essentially the most constructive spin I may placed on it. God jogged my memory to inform him, “I’m not Sandy. It’s not ovarian most cancers. It’s early and it’s
treatable. I’m going to be okay. God’s obtained this!”

His response was as you would possibly count on – a complete lot of tears, a wholesome dose of anger,
adopted by, “We have to pray.” I instructed my son and daughter, and he instructed his two
daughters. Everybody dealt with it okay apart from his youngest. Delaney had been
adopted by Bob and Sandy from China when she was a child. She had already misplaced two
mothers and was fearful of dropping one other. I bear in mind one night time laying in mattress along with her
whereas she cried. My analysis had triggered that reminiscence and the trauma of dropping the
mother who raised her. I vowed once more that my story could be totally different.

We started the seek for a surgeon. Our first calls had been to 2 of our associates who’re
household physicians, and each of them really helpful Dr. Hernandez. The third name was to
my buddy Diane who had been down this street simply six months prior. Her physician was
none apart from Dr. Hernandez. God revealed the trail I used to be to take, and I scheduled
an appointment with him.

I invited our buddy Wendy to affix us at my first go to with Dr. Hernandez. She was a two-time breast most cancers survivor herself and I knew she would know what inquiries to ask. I bear in mind watching her navigate her personal most cancers journey with the power and religion of a warrior. She had additionally walked alongside Bob and Sandy by their journey with ovarian most cancers 5 years earlier than. I used to be so grateful she was there, asking questions and taking notes, whereas my head spun dizzy from all the data.
At our appointment, Dr. Hernandez was so caring and compassionate. He defined
that DCIS is the absolute best breast most cancers to get and that it was absolutely treatable.
Due to the dimensions and the dispersement sample of the DCIS, a lumpectomy wouldn’t
be an choice for me. So I used to be taking a look at a mastectomy of the left breast and he didn’t
suppose was going to have the ability to spare my left nipple both. He additionally talked about that there
was a 30-40% likelihood that most cancers would finally seem on the precise breast, so I
instantly opted for a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction so I wouldn’t should
fear. Surprisingly, it was a straightforward choice for me, and it later proved to be God-inspired
for positive. The excellent news was that if all went nicely and the pathology got here again
favorably, that surgical procedure is perhaps all that I might require with no therapy following
surgical procedure. So we started praying for this state of affairs, together with a big group of prayer
warriors.

Quickly after my go to with Dr. Hernandez, I went to see Dr. Finkel, the reconstructive
surgeon really helpful by Dr. Hernandez who had additionally completed the reconstruction for my
buddy Diane. I preferred her instantly. She was thorough, direct, powerful, and somewhat bit
sassy. We made selections relating to the implants and she or he was assured she could be
capable of do it similtaneously my mastectomy so I wouldn’t require a second surgical procedure.
Since they didn’t suppose my nipple may very well be spared, she shared that some folks get 3D
tattoos of a nipple and areola. Different folks put a tattoo over the world to cowl up the scar and the place the lacking nipple could be. So I began on the lookout for breast tattoos to
cowl my former nipple space and my left breast. Extra on this later…

“Love Your Most cancers”
At first, I needed to run away and conceal. I battled with worry. I held it in, decided to not let anybody see it. I made a decision I used to be going to be a warrior and “kick most cancers’s butt.” I
vacillated in these two realms – kicking butt and operating and hiding. Battle or flight. As a yoga teacher and yoga therapist, I KNEW that my physique couldn’t correctly heal in a state of struggle or flight the place I used to be at battle with my very own physique. I additionally knew that “no matter we resist persists” – that resistance creates extra resistance. And, I knew that no matter we concentrate on expands and that by specializing in my most cancers, I used to be solely giving it extra energy. However, I didn’t know the way to finish the battle.

Someday, after one in every of my yoga courses, an expensive buddy and one in every of my first yoga college students
(who’s a three-time most cancers survivor) mentioned to me, “Love your most cancers, Daybreak.” It was like
the heavens opened as much as ship me a message and it modified EVERYTHING.
As a result of love adjustments the whole lot. I had an ah-ha second that modified me from the
inside-out and altered the way in which I felt about my most cancers. I began on the lookout for alternatives to be grateful and the items and blessings alongside the way in which. And let me inform you, there have been greater than I may recount right here! I began asking the most cancers what it needed to train me, understanding that ache might be one in every of our biggest academics if we enable it to be. I made a decision to like my most cancers and love myself by it.

Shortly after that, Bob and I had been watching the Winter Olympics and so they did somewhat
again story on one of many athletes. For no matter motive, the story touched me and I
began bawling like a child. Lastly, the tears began flowing and I used to be feeling my
feelings, reasonably than holding all of it in and attempting to be sturdy. Bob and I cried and held
one another, after which we prayed. I felt such a aid and I may lastly breathe once more.

Surgical procedure and Remedy
My surgical procedure happened on March 15, 2018 simply two days earlier than St. Patrick’s Day (which
additionally occurs to be the anniversary of my first date with Bob). My physician anticipated that the surgical procedure would take about three and a half hours. He added that upon nearer evaluation of my imaging, he believed he would have the ability to spare my nipple; I used to be so joyful to listen to that information and knew God was answering my prayer! My family and friends prayed over me, and I drifted off to “sleep,” feeling at peace and assured that every one would go nicely.

My surgical procedure solely took 2 1/2 because of the talent and precision of my wonderful surgeons, my
nipple was spared, and the whole lot went off with no hitch.
After my pathology got here again, I had a follow-up appointment with my physician. He shared with me that the most cancers was not HER-2 constructive, it was not invasive, and it
had not unfold to my lymph nodes. With out going right into a bunch of element on what that every one means, it meant that I might not want radiation or chemotherapy. Extra solutions to
prayer! However, there was one thing else Dr. Hernandez instructed me. I bear in mind vividly that
he mentioned, “You’re very fortunate to have opted to do a bilateral mastectomy, younger woman.”

After receiving the pathology report, they found that I had an ADH (Atypical DuctalmHyperplasia) on the precise breast – a precancerous situation that was more likely to develop into lobular most cancers later. As he put it, “You dodged a bullet. We might have been coping with most cancers in the precise breast inside a 12 months or two.”

To say that I KNEW I used to be imagined to have the precise breast eliminated was an
understatement. Each fiber of my being felt resolved to do the bilateral mastectomy,
and to seek out out that I had a pre-cancerous situation on the precise solely affirmed that God was watching over me and had nudged me in that course.

I went and noticed the medical oncologist upon the request of my surgeon to verify what
he suspected, and she or he agreed that no radiation or chemo could be wanted. They instructed
me that they obtained it early and so they obtained all of it. I might simply have to go for follow-up check-ups each 6 months. As well as, my BRCA genetic testing had come again unfavorable,
which meant I wouldn’t want to fret about the potential of creating different feminine
cancers.

All through my restoration, we had been inundated with playing cards, texts, cellphone calls, meals,
flowers, items, and reveals of help. I may tangibly really feel God’s love throughout me
by the love and help of household and associates…and excellent strangers alongside the
manner. I absolutely skilled the therapeutic energy of His mighty love. I used to be additionally given the
alternative to “pay it ahead” with a number of of my associates who developed breast most cancers
after me. I wholeheartedly consider that our distress can develop into our ministry and that
God can repurpose our ache if we enable it. And after we put our ache into service to
others, it could actually assist carry us out of our personal circumstances. I discovered that to be one of many
stunning items I obtained by my journey with breast most cancers.

The Subsequent Chapter
Following my surgical procedure, my reconstructive surgeon and my medical oncologist continued
to observe me each six months. I went for an ultrasound after the primary six months and
the whole lot seemed good. I had blood drawn each six months, and every time, the whole lot
was fantastic. My reconstructive surgeon would have a look at my incisions and examine me each six
months as nicely, and once more, no points by any means. After just a few years of this, it simply felt like
a formality. I believed wholeheartedly that the most cancers was gone and it will by no means
return. I truthfully didn’t give it a second thought.

At my three-year go to, my reconstructive surgeon ordered an MRI. The report revealed
an space of concern within the neighborhood of my authentic most cancers and so they ordered extra
imaging to analyze. I attempted to not fear, however my mind spun and began taking part in out
potential situations.

On August 20, 2021, I went in for an ultrasound and mammogram. The ultrasound didn’t present something and the preliminary mammography didn’t both. They instructed me they might simply observe up with me in six months. As I used to be getting dressed, the radiology tech knocked on the door and instructed me to place the robe again on as a result of they needed to take extra photos. The radiologist directed her on the place to take the pictures and so they stored at it till she discovered what she was on the lookout for. Let me inform you that this was no straightforward feat as a result of I’ve virtually no tissue and there have been implants in the way in which. Certain sufficient, the world she was involved about revealed one thing suspicious. The radiologist confirmed me the pictures and so they seemed identical to the pictures they’d taken after I was
recognized with DCIS.

I felt like I had been punched within the intestine. My first response was, “Oh crap!” She nodded
her head in compassion and understanding. She talked about that it may very well be fatty
necrosis (surgical adjustments) or calcifications, however they couldn’t make certain with no biopsy.
She additionally talked about that she had a “hunch” and needed to observe it. It was tough to seek out
as a result of it was in a “blind spot” close to the sternum, behind the implant on the chest wall.
There was little question in my thoughts that this was God’s intervention. The “hunch”, persevered till she discovered it – in a blindspot no much less! All of this made me notice that God was watching over me and had guided the radiologist to the precise spot the place this was hiding. She instructed me that she would get with my medical doctors and allow them to know what was occurring and they might take it from there, however I probably wouldn’t hear from them till Monday.

Close to the tip of the day, Dr. Hernandez known as me and confirmed what the radiologist
had mentioned. He instructed me to not fear as a result of even when it was the “worst case”, DCIS is absolutely
treatable and it was microscopic in dimension. Being the compassionate individual he’s, he instructed
me he needed to name me to set my thoughts comfortable so I wouldn’t fear all weekend about
it. I met with him the next Monday and we scheduled a surgical biopsy for
September 9. He defined that he would take away the affected tissue after which have
pathology evaluation it so we might know precisely what we had been coping with.
On September 9, I had a biopsy. It was a two-part process the place I needed to go to the
breast imaging heart first to ensure that them to put a “marker” utilizing mammography to information them to the affected space so Dr. Hernandez would know the place to chop. This was
painful and complex as a result of it was so tough to seek out. After they positioned the
“marker”, I went straight to the surgical procedure heart for them to carry out the biopsy. That was
quick and comparatively straightforward.

By the tip of the subsequent day, Dr. Hernandez known as me with the preliminary outcomes, once more
so I wouldn’t should surprise all weekend lengthy. A lot to his (and my) shock, they
discovered Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC), which he known as a “second main most cancers”
as a result of it was new and totally different than my first analysis of DCIS. I by no means knew that was potential after a bilateral mastectomy, however once they spare the pores and skin and nipple (which they did with me), some tissue stays the place a recurrence or new most cancers can seem. He mentioned we might know the ultimate pathology report on Monday and to simply sit tight and wait.

My coronary heart sank. My mind spun. I used to be breathless. Bob and I simply stared at one another
with out phrases. Once more? How? Why? Now what? My prayers had been emotional and erratic…and a bit offended if I’m trustworthy. However the good factor is that I used to be praying… The weekend glided by SO slowly. Bob and I actually busied ourselves to go the time and maintain our minds off of the whole lot. I made calls to associates who had been by this, and located some consolation in understanding they had been all doing nicely. I attempted NOT to concentrate on the truth that my buddy Diane, who had walked me by my first most cancers journey, had handed away from a metastasis of this identical sort of most cancers simply two years prior. God jogged my memory that each individual’s journey is totally different, and to carry onto hope and belief in Him.

We obtained the ultimate pathology report the next Monday as promised. Dr.
Hernandez defined that although the margins (the house between the cancerous
tissue and the wholesome tissue) had been fantastic, they had been recommending one other surgical procedure
to take away extra tissue on the “capsule” (the scar tissue across the implant) simply to be
secure. He additionally wanted to do a sentinel biopsy of my lymph nodes to verify the
most cancers hadn’t unfold. He additionally talked about that as a result of it was an invasive most cancers, radiation would probably be required following surgical procedure.

On September 21, I underwent a partial mastectomy and a sentinel biopsy. The whole lot
went easily and there have been no surprises. That Friday, Dr. Hernandez known as to share
the excellent news that the most cancers had NOT unfold to the lymph nodes so I wouldn’t have
to fret all weekend. Reward God! The next week, I met with all the medical doctors on
my group to go over the pathology report and flesh out a therapy plan.

I started radiation on November 1 which was imagined to final six weeks. Sadly, I
was recognized with COVID-19 after sharing my story at a breast most cancers occasion at a church in Chandler, AZ simply 4 days into my therapy. Oh, the irony! So, I needed to take a while off. I had my final radiation therapy on December 20. I used to be so grateful to have it behind me so I may benefit from the holidays with my household and associates.
As a result of my sort of breast most cancers was estrogen and progesterone receptor constructive
(which implies it was fed by hormones), I used to be positioned on an aromatase inhibitor in
January of 2022, which suppresses the manufacturing of Estrogen. Quickly after, I used to be
coping with a complete host of uncomfortable side effects that made me fairly depressing. Fortuitously, my medical oncologist, Dr. Ortiz Cruz, was delicate to my issues. She put me on a
totally different drug and adjusted the dose to make me extra snug since I must be on any such drug for at least 5 years. The excellent news is that I’m doing significantly better on the brand new drug AND I’m virtually two years in!

I’m going for normal bloodwork and checkups with my medical doctors and have the help of an
wonderful naturopath who has helped me with the uncomfortable side effects of the medication. I’m doing
nicely and attempting to reside my greatest life proper now. I attempt to take every day because it comes and discover
the teachings and blessings alongside the way in which. I simply hope and pray that this would be the finish of
my breast most cancers journey, apart from how God needs to make use of my story to assist others and
any extra classes He needs to show me.

Pink Phoenix Rising
Again to the tattoo I discussed earlier. The Phoenix Rising has at all times resonated with me due to what it represents. The Phoenix is a mythological fowl that cyclically regenerates or is born once more from its personal ashes.

Related to fireplace and the solar, the Phoenix obtains new life by rising from the ashes of its earlier self. Some legends say it dies in a present of flames and combustion
earlier than being born anew, every time extra wonderful than its earlier self. Additionally it is discovered
in Christian mythology to symbolize Christ’s resurrection, magnificence from ashes, and our loss of life and rebirth by baptism in Him. Refiner’s fireplace. Magnificence from ashes. Victory over loss of life. Rising above our circumstances. Rebirth and regeneration. Transformation. My religion in Jesus.

Once I went by my first breast most cancers journey, I discovered this picture of a pink Phoenix Rising after I was on the lookout for tattoos. The colour pink represents my journey with breast most cancers and honors my grandmothers who had been additionally victorious. I need to have one thing like this over my coronary heart (the place my breast most cancers was discovered and the place the brand new scar is positioned) as a everlasting reminder of my journey and who I need to be after I face future trials, ache, loss, or something that looks like “fireplace”. To me, it’s a reminder to thank God that I’m alive, for the sweetness He has introduced from the ashes of my life, and all the “second probabilities” I’ve been given.

Greater than that, I need it as an emblem of this new life I’ve been given by Christ.
The actual fact of the matter is that every of us will undergo varied types of “fireplace” throughout our lifetimes. We are able to select whether or not we’re going to be victims and go up in flames or to persevere and are available out the opposite facet as a stronger, wiser, extra stunning model of
ourselves. We are able to actually embrace the loss of life of the “previous self” and resurrect as a brand new
creation.

We are able to all select to be the Phoenix Rising. It doesn’t matter what our circumstances, we are able to
select to be victorious. We are able to enable the fireplace to refine us, rework us, and reveal our
inside essence, power, and wonder. We are able to search for the sweetness amidst the ash –
hidden blessings, alternatives to be grateful, the small and huge victories. We are able to love our “cancers,” and in loving them, we are able to heal. After which, we are able to start once more. The
selection is ours to make. And, that selection adjustments EVERYTHING.

Isaiah 61:1-6 (NIV)

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
as a result of the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim excellent news to the poor.
He has despatched me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and launch from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the 12 months of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to consolation all who mourn, and supply for individuals who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of magnificence
as an alternative of ashes,
the oil of pleasure
as an alternative of mourning,
and a garment of reward
as an alternative of a spirit of despair.
They are going to be known as oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the show of his splendor.
They are going to rebuild the traditional ruins
and restore the locations lengthy devastated;
they are going to renew the ruined cities
which were devastated for generations.
Strangers will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
And you can be known as monks of the Lord,
you can be named ministers of our God.”